Why You’ve Got to Be True to Your Life-Guiding Principles

Article from https://www.thewoodeneffect.com … What are your life-guiding principles?

If you sacrifice principle trying to please everyone, you end up pleasing no one.

When Coach John Wooden graduated from eighth grade, his father gave him a handwritten card and said, “Son, try to live up to this.” His father had written seven profound life principles:

  • Be true to yourself
  • Help others
  • Make friendship a fine art
  • Drink deeply from good books, especially the Bible
  • Make each day your masterpiece
  • Build a shelter against a rainy day by the life you live
  • Give thanks for your blessings and pray for guidance every day

Dave Meyers (UCLA: 1971-75), former NBA star and currently a teacher, summarized his lessons this way: “If you are not maintaining self-control, then you are not being true to yourself. You are letting your circumstances or your emotions or the actions of other people control you. To be true to yourself, you have to be in control of yourself. When I played for Coach Wooden, he used to tell the team, ‘If you can’t control yourself, others will do it for you. And if you’re not controlling yourself, you’re not helping the team.’”

 

Feeling the Heat of the Spotlight?

Feeling the Heat of the Spotlight?

Even Shaq suffered under the bright lights at the free throw line. Many different shooting coaches were brought in to help him improve his form and he learned to shoot a high percentage from the line in practice. But in a game situation, “hack a Shaq” was the motto of opposing teams as the game tightened up. Why did Shaq struggle from the line? He was so skilled and yet even he felt the weight of the audience. How much more pressure does a teen feel when stepping to the line in front of his girlfriend, parents, and classmates?

It turns out that we all have a tendency to fall victim to the ‘spotlight effect.’ Whether we are coaches, parents or players, we all believe that other people are really attending to what we are doing. It is within our nature to grossly overestimate how many people notice something about us. There have been many psychology studies conducted that support this phenomenon. The research attributes much of the spotlight effect to egocentrism – the idea that we are all the center of our own universe and our existence is built from our own experiences and perspective. But other people are also the center of their own universe and focused only on their own things. So it is easy for us to notice our mistakes on the court and think everyone else noticed them too, even though fans might be more focused on their own hunger, girlfriend, or spilt drink.

With limited experience in the world, teens are the most prone to the struggle under the spotlight. Students often want to skip school because of the new pimple on their nose or will only attend wearing name brand gear. The spotlight effect can really impede our confidence and ability to move past our mistakes. What if Shaq had reminded himself when he stepped to the line that most people were buying popcorn, talking to their friend, looking at a cheerleader, or checking out their cell phone and were not focused on him? Even the acknowledgment of the spotlight effect will help athletes perform better and succeed when they think everyone is watching.

Transformational Coaching or just coaching

We’ve known Coach David Dickson for many years and he recently mentioned the book InSideOut Coaching & the idea of transformational coaching. Youth basketball is struggling in many ways & at times we lose sight of “the why” of sports. So we asked Coach Dickson:

When in your career did you discover transformational coaching?
And why do you think it resonated with you?

Continue reading “Transformational Coaching or just coaching”

The right perspective for sport.

Thanks Patrick Mahomes for having the correct perspective on life, faith, and sports.

Watch & Read more about here:
http://fox4kc.com/2020/01/31/im-glorifying-him-grounded-by-faith-mahomes-prays-before-super-bowl-departure/

Miss 90% of your Shots

SOME SAY: YOU MISS 100% OF THE SHOTS YOUR DON’T TAKE.

I SAY: YOU MISS 90% OF THE SHOTS YOU TAKE …

CAUSE YOU NEVER PRACTICE

🙂

Create a Tailwind on your Team – Gratefulness

We all tend to think we are experiencing a tougher road in life than others. Whether it is a sibling that seems to have had an easier upbringing, other coaches that always get the calls or another kid that is getting all the game time. We all feel like we are running into a headwind and the deck is stacked against our success sometimes. As coaches and parents it is critical for us not to feed this resentment within our aspiring athletes.

Good coaches find ways to encourage gratitude within the team.

Gratitude is good for us and research has shown that those people that notice the tailwind in their life are more satisfied, sleep better and see the doctor less. Maybe thanking mom after the big game isn’t a cliche but an important step that recognizes the gift that even playing the game is, no matter the role.

So rather than seeing the obstacles and complaining about the referees, the other team, or a lack of playing time encourage your athlete to notice the tailwind in their life. It might just add to their enjoyment of the process and the success of your team.

Mixed up Perspective

Just read a short (3 minute) article from The Virginian Pilot and its worth a quick read. The idea that a player – after having rec’d a free education through a scholarship – would say: “The guys who don’t go on to the NBA, once they leave college, they look back and say, ‘Wow, I was exploited — and I have nothing to show for it.” … is a great example of the dangerous attitude of ungratefulness.

“The guys who don’t go on to the NBA, once they leave college, they look back and say, ‘Wow, I was exploited — and I have nothing to show for it.”

We’ve written about gratefulness on TourneyBuddy.

We all tend to think we are experiencing a tougher road in life than others. Whether it is a sibling that seems to have had an easier upbringing, other coaches that always get the calls or another kid that is getting all the game time. We all feel like we are running into a headwind and the deck is stacked against our success sometimes. As coaches and parents it is critical for us not to feed this resentment within our aspiring athletes.

Good coaches find ways to encourage gratitude within the team.

Gratitude is good for us and research has shown that those people that notice the tailwind in their life are more satisfied, sleep better and see the doctor less. Maybe thanking mom after the big game isn’t a cliche but an important step that recognizes the gift that even playing the game is, no matter the role.

So rather than seeing the obstacles and complaining about the referees, the other team, or a lack of playing time encourage your athlete to notice the tailwind in their life. It might just add to their enjoyment of the process and the success of your team.

Religion And Its Effects On Sport

“I play for fun” sounds pretty weak in comparison to the phrases, “I am a serious player” or “I play to win”! Whenever a “serious” sports family hears about a team that is JUST playing for fun, they overlook the players/team/league/tournament all together as though it is not up to their standards. Humanity has always been plagued with a comparative mindset, a mindset that allows for the determined, hardworking, superior to climb upon the shoulders of the best of the rest. Isn’t this what makes America great!? Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness! This mantra is powerful and has put us in charge of our own destiny. This place of freedom can be abused, especially when it trickles down to youth sports.

Play for Fun? Or Play to Win?

It isn’t just youth sports, it is part of everyone’s day in the whole world! Let’s talk about religion and irreligion. Think about it, there are three ways of looking at life: RELIGIOUS people who believe in a higher being who they try to appease through obedience, IRRELIGIOUS people who don’t believe in a higher power and believe themselves to be in control of their own destiny and finally people who believe that God stooped down and became flesh in order to serve those who He loved, ultimately to die for them in order to reconcile them back to himself. This is called the Gospel, the good news of Jesus. Youth sports simply reveals what is going on in the depths of our hearts. We want CONTROL and since sport has “time and score” we try to control it.

What do I mean by control? Well, it is that feeling when you win. Everyone knows that sense of accomplishment when you finish the dishes, make 10 jumpers in a row, save enough to take your family on vacation or lose another 5 pounds. These are tiny wins and stacking enough of them together makes us a WINNER! The opposite is also true: dishes piled up, utter failure as an athlete, loads of debt and no family vacation, obesity because of lack of self-control etc. all these tiny losses stacked together would in theory make you a LOSER. We tell ourselves every day that we can control whether we are winners or losers at life based on tons of tiny decisions and we spiritualize it. The religious person might think, if I am a winner, God will love me and if I am a loser, God will be sad at me while the irreligious person may operate here, If I am a “winner” then I will have better control over my life, health and finances then no one can tell me what I can and cannot do.

The Gospel states that Jesus’ perfection is the only perfection that satisfies God’s demand and that those who trust in Him alone will receive that gift of right standing before Him, unmerited favor. This gift is called Grace and it really does create a third camp entirely. When a person understands that they are pleasing (right now) to God because of someone else’s goodness, they can experience FREEDOM. Freedom comes when you don’t have to hide anything knowing that you are accepted by the one who matters most. This is a place where sport can be played, FOR FUN!

I know this is a MASSIVE stretch to go from serious vs fun to religion, irreligion and gospel, but I think it is worth our consideration. If you are someone who believes that you have to “do” in order to “get” and you live life in an “if then” paradigm, you probably live in religion, it may not be formal religion but all religion is the same and there is a good chance that you are a comparative thinker. If you are a comparative thinker, sport may be something you try to control, therefore taking it out of the “FOR FUN” category. If you have experienced God’s grace in your life and don’t have to live with a comparative mindset, sport may just be able to be played “FOR FUN”.

In conclusion, whether you are religious or irreligious, you live your life with a comparative mindset. This comparative thinking becomes a place of bondage because everything is categorized into a good, better, best system or a set of tiny wins and losses. This DOES affect your view of youth sports. Ultimately, God’s view of you matters, but He doesn’t want you living as comparative thinkers where winning or losing in sport or the status of your team (serious vs recreational) matters, instead He actually wants you to live in freedom and to be able to “play for fun”.

I think there is a way for it to be “seriously fun”, but that is for another post.

 

 

Vulnerability

One character quality that often isn’t discussed in AAU basketball is VULNERABILITY.

I heard Jake Locker define it as:

Vulnerability: Willing to be known by others. And willing to engage in something in which you may not succeed. 

In many ways AAU basketball exposes who we are. It exposes our character. And provides opportunities the practice character-building moments.

And being vulnerable to try to new things, test a new skill, or develop a new skill is being vulnerable.

And that vulnerability builds our character.